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Bad baby name: bad student

October 23, 2009


This kid wouldn’t be smiling if he understood the consequences of having the name Rupert

According to a German study, teachers write off kids with non-traditional names before they even meet them, making preconceived notions about their performance, behaviour and even body odour (alright, I made that last one up).

Apparently, traditional German names, like “Charlotte, Sophie, Marie, Hannah, Alexander, Maximilian, Simon, Lukas and Jakob are consistently linked to strong performance and good behaviour,” said the the English version, which is reported here. “Non-traditional names such as Chantal, Mandy, Angelina, Kevin, Justin and Maurice, on the other hand, are associated with weak performance and bad behaviour.”

The “positive” names are also in Germany’s top ten baby names for 2008, coincidentally, and of the teachers questioned, “the overwhelming majority associated personal traits with first names without a second thought. Only a very small percentage of those who answered the survey said that they tried to maintain a critical distance between such prejudices and their pupils’ names.”

Now let’s look at the most popular boys names in Canada for 2008. No offense, but scholastically speaking, more than half of these kids are going to be starting off with one foot in the dunce corner.  

Case in point, number 98: Xavier! Good luck getting over that one, not to mention any google searches of you getting confused with a fictional, paraplegic band leader of mutants.

I think my favourites though are number 4,5 and 6, Kaden, Jayden and Nathan (a 2009 list includes Aiden, also), which literally sounds like a trio of either mentally handicapped surfer dudes, or possibly some secondary characters on Gossip Girl/90210/Melrose Place/daytime soap operas (and if not mentally, then at least socially handicapped).

Either way, perhaps new parents should think twice before wracking their brains for “unique’ names, because while Pacey may have seemed like a good idea for a name back when Dawson’s Creek was popular, as we speak he’s probably picking his nose in an orphanage writing “fart” on the wall in crayon.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Simon permalink*
    October 24, 2009 1:16 am

    I knew my name was German for awesome. Seeing that list of Canadian baby names only informs me that in 18 years there will be a shortage of lawyers and an abundance of strippers.

  2. February 3, 2011 2:52 pm

    So good! Although I don’t go to your blog much but I have to admit you always post amazing information and the theme is very good. Stop us updated mate! I enjoy your site and may carry on appreciating your energy anytime I visit.

  3. Jesse Kinos-Goodin permalink*
    February 4, 2011 12:43 pm

    Charissa, be sure the ashcan’s new home:

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